I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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