Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize