So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
