I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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