i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
