We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
