My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
