We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
