nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
