This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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