Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
