Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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