I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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