I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
