what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
