this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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