Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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