I am puke
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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