I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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