Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
