Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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