That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
