So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
