No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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