two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
honey bunches of taint.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
