Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
