Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
