i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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