Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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