im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize