i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize