And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
