How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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