Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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