I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
