Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
