I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize