I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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