ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
