If that was your dad, he is hot
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
