she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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