I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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