You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
