i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
