Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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