i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize