she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm sobbing to NWA
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
