i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
