so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
