32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i think i just lost a toe
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
