Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
