Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
