he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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