If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
zippers are such a cool invention
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
