I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
