I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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