is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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