It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
no you cant smoke seaweed
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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