question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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