I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
